UNDERSTANDING TEENAGERS

UNDERSTANDING TEENAGERS

I look back now and it became clear to me, so that is why I had such challenge understanding him.

One minute he is excited, the next he is in the room all by himself, my baby that always wants to be around me now wants some ME time to himself and he doesn’t see anything wrong in being alone.

Oh it’s a phase, he is going through some stages, and he is becoming a MAN!!!!

Clearly understanding the transformation that takes place in the lives of our teenagers will help us offer relevant guidance and equip us with the patience we need to go through the period with them as well. I remember I was almost always angry when my son just changed from being that boy that always want to sit by me and put his head on my shoulders most of the time.

But am more excited now to see a man emerge out of the little boy. At a point I thought I did something wrong and each time I would ask ‘what have I done, why are you quiet? He just looks at me and say ‘Mummy you did not do anything now am just quiet’.

 I would get impatient with him, I would shout oh shouting is my hobby and he has mastered the act of calming me now ‘Mummy, looking into my eyes don’t shout am fine, seriously.  I remember when he would lock up the bathroom door to have his bath, that I did not even say anything about because I thought he needed his privacy by then not only privacy but his body was changing rapidly and when I noticed was when he asked that he wanted boxers I did not argue at all I got him boxers one time cause he wanted to step up and wear boxer like the adults do.

Then came the tiredness, which makes me wonder, ok what have you done that made you sleeping all day after I would think he has been footballing after school and by that exhausted himself came home slept off, did not do an inch of the house chores or cook, he would just be tired. I never knew it part of the process I always thought its football or just being lazy.

Some time ago I stumbled on a message conversation with a female school mate, to think I would have flared up, God! he has a ‘crush’. What do I do to monitor him? Even though I trust him. I went on face book looked for the young lady sent her a friend request and of cause she accepted and we became friends we started talking. I did not ask about her and my son because I have asked him already and via our discussion I know there is a ‘crush’ here.

I came into her as someone she could open up to and that was it, that was how I took her up like she were my daughter and she could buzz me up anytime to talk to me and I do not turn her away. I did not judge her for nursing a thought of a relationship (my son too) all I want to achieve is to quench that thought from both of them.  I pick the young lady up at her bus stop on the way to school just on my way to drop the children to school as well, I chat her up, pick her after school a times when I pick my son too just so she knows she doesn’t have to hide from me just to be open and be friendly so we can talk, now the crush has passed they are still friends cause I see the way they tease each other and play. She is such a lovely young lady.

See to me there is nothing wrong with having a ‘crush’ I have been there so no holier than thou Mummy attitude yeah. They are growing up, feelings are forming, emotions rising all we need do is to guard, guide and lead them aright so we do not get disappointed, lets deal with it no need to shy away from it cos it may be too late, and moreover it makes room for openness to ask questions and do what you tell them in love to do and you see these things do not just happen in a day or two there has to be an understanding relationship with the children so when the time comes you will not need to shy away from such discussions because over time you would have spoken about it with them like teasing and asking questions so they can be well informed to even come to you for help and assurance.  I was in class just yesterday and you will be amazed at the questions University students are asking doing/after the Topic called ATTRACTION truth is our children need to be enlightened.

When there is a challenge in school assignments, I remember I always calm them down with these words ‘I have a sound mind, I have the mind of Christ!!!’ it works all the time. It assures them and they relax, go back and deal with the subjects. It still works!!!!!

And always hammer your body is the temple of the holy spirit, child you have to guard it, guard your thoughts let it be acceptable to Jesus whenever you need Him to help you out, let Him always listen whenever you call don’t allow sin to hinder your access to the throne of grace oh yes they need such reminder every day of the week lest they fall into temptation.

God is EVERYTHING and EVERYTHING IS GOD……. Tell them. 

God owns our children not us. He told us 'train up a child in the way it should go so when he/she grows, they will not depart from the training imbibed in them... He us to train, to mold, to teach them in the way of the Lord

I remember at the WSF when after fellowship I and the children will shout!!!! ‘I have a sound mind, I have the mind of Christ!!!!! (Nostalgia).

 Some extract from RAISING GODLY CHILDREN by Faith A. Oyedepo.