I look back now and see how i have tried and sustained it when i consciously caution myself in the way i interact with my eldest son as a mother, a friend, his first love a confidant,prayer partner. See aside spiritual investment there are things i need to do, how i need to behave so that he will see also in me and treat the opposite sex the same way. I want him to respect women, to not raise his voice on a woman, treat a woman kindly with respect and gentleness.
A woman of God asked me a few questions as he saw how i relate with my sons.
Here it is, i know it helped her research and looking back i know its paying off.
HER QUESTION:
How are u ma? Saw your post on face book with your son.... Wow! So nice..... The Lord has been teaching me a lot lately on mums and their sons.... So will just ask you a few questions.. Looks like your boy is outgoing(an extrovert),am I right? How old is he and is he your first child? Hope he still sucks mummy's breast? Ha! Ha! How would u describe your relationship with him? Seriously, by the Spirit's leading,I have been doing a lot of research on this in relation to the women's ministry under my Ministry. Do well to help me with some answers... Am so glad I have found another mum to talk to....thank you....happy new year in advance!!!! Hope u are doing great walking with the Holy Spirit?
MY ANSWER
Heaven on Earth ma, yes he is sociable n outgoing. He turned 15 in Sept, he is in SS3. No he doesn't such mummy's breast at all lol, my relationship with him is a mother, a friend, a confidant, his first love and prayer partner. As he is growing I make sure I push him out to attend camp programmes like 3 camps in a year, to build him up to the Kingdom star I want him to be .I want him to be sounded in Christ, leadership and other skills. I teach him as a mother how to treat a lady because its how he treats and behave towards me that he will be to his wife because I want him to have a happy home and I sound it in his ears oftens. Though we fight on house chores which he pushes to his younger brother (smiles). He is a good child am blessed to have him and his brother. He prefers to talk or come to me than going to dad n I always say sometimes go tell daddy pls he ll laugh n say mummy now but i've told you. I let him talk to friends and bring them home so I see them and hear what comes out from their mouth the ones I do not like I ask him to stop being friends with them, there is one that came to the house while we were all working, he sat down in the living room and did not move to help his friend out, I asked him to leave and I do not want them together again cos when I was growing up I help my friends out with chores, friends are helpers, good friend are teachers of good things and I teach him that. I do not allow him get a hair cut that is not o.k at all, I sometimes follow him to the salon because its mostly Sundays they have their hair cut after church on our way home and I tell the barber pls no rubbish style my son, he will look at me smile and shake his head, they all know me and when he goes alone they know what to do ( i do not like any situation when a child is referred home like that saying 'don't you have a mother'. As you know ma and walk in the spirit cause you taught me a bit on that . He has never left me alone ever since I believed He existed. Thank you ma'am mwaaah
HER QUESTION
Wow! Wow! Wow! Thankss..... This is completely powerful and helpful. So in what ways do u comfort him when he needs to be comforted? Just with words,or with a hand around the neck or with petting /cuddling? Some boys want to be cuddled u know. Also I have met mums whose boys still suck(ed) their breast literally at the age your son is and even older, want to know if u have heard of anything like it before, if yes....pls give me examples and what do u think about it? If u have never heard about it,tell me what u think about it now that I have told u? Also what things do u use to spice up your relationship with him since beyond been mum,u are his first love....I have heard mums refer to themselves as their son's first love and that's exactly what it should be,but the thing is, there is nothing they do for or wt their sons to fill in this role as first love thereby most time pushing these boys into early unhealthy love relationships... What's your opinion on this? Mums must be trained to adequately love and help their boys.Thank u....and morning
MY ANSWER
With words ma'am and quote scriptures in the bible ask him to open it and read then I hug him. I refer to myself as his first love because it is from me he will learn how to compliment, respect and treat a woman so am conscious of that fact and teach him accordingly to be a gentleman, calm not raising his voice, on leadership as he will be the head of the home to provide for, care and maintain his family through the word with example from the home. I encourage to save and be able to have something in his purse not ask for money all the time and i has paid off because a times he comes to me for something and i maybe busy or not around i ask him to go ahead using part of his saving and when i return i give him back his money, i was shocked sometime ago to hear how much he has saved. As a man he need to cultivate the habit of saving.
No I have not heard about big boys sucking their mum's breast at all. Yes mums must train their boys with care not with shouting and resentment, boys need care cause how you treat them is how they will treat people in their lives when they are grown and the society at large.
HER RESPONSE
Wow! Thankssssss again. I really appreciate your replies..... Thank u.. Happy new year in advance once again.
I believe that asides spiritual investment, you act it all out as well as a parent cause they will not only do as you say/teach, they will do as you do.
Thank you Mr Joseph Mwalukuku for the wake up call.